keeping the faith.
I feel like there’s never really a point in time when life is completely clear and understandable. it’s always a little bit confusing, some times more than others. with five days left until college graduation, there’s much transition occurring, more than i expected which was probably way to optimistic of me, but oh well here we are.
i’m comforted yet uncomfortable all neatly packed into one moment. There’s no easy answer or solution, perhaps just mere avoidance of the brash reality on an account of an overwhelming fear of change. I refuse to accept the inevitable in hopes of being able to change it, it’s a conundrum: the fear of change yet the need to change outcomes to better suit my needs. What results from that concoction? A suspension of time with no respect for the actual circumstances or conditions. It’s a volatile cocktail, like grain alcohol set on fire: brilliant but also extremely unpredictable and a dangerous place to put yourself in the middle of.
The Middle. Not just a great Jimmy Eat World song, or a place for Malcolm to be. It’s the sometimes awkward in between we all find ourselves in eventually, the limbo between then and what’s to come. It’s where fear lies. Not in the future. It’s the fear of leaving the present for something else is where the fear of change and of the future stems from. The middle chooses where the end will be. Without the middle parts, there is no end. If you spend your whole life searching and preparing for the end, you’ll miss the middle and the end will never appear, it will stay just a little too far off in the distance.
Here’s where keeping the faith comes in. Religious beliefs not required. It’s keeping faith in yourself; in knowing you are confident in the moment you are in right now. You are the only person that can control your happiness and your destiny in life. Lest not be afraid of honestly expressing who you are to the world, those who matter will care, and those who don’t care don’t matter. Just remember you are a unique individual here on your own trip, bring along who you want, and go where you want and don’t be afraid to live in the moment and become overwhelmed with what the future has in store, because it is the present that becomes the future and the past. Keep your faith.
